Today I took the girls with me to pick up a couple of things at the store (I HAVE to have Miracle Whip for those after-Thanksgiving sandwiches!). I was talking to Older Girl, asking her about school, and what she wanted for Christmas. She asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I was starting to think about something she could give to me, and she said "I know mom! For your cancer to be all better!"
I laughed and said that I would LOVE that for Christmas, but it probably wouldn't happen this year.
She is such a sweetie. I love that she is aware enough to know this something that I would want to be gone. I am sad that she has to worry about it at all, because I know she does. But at least she is a sweetie.
Last night I had some energy (after my long autumn's nap) and started dancing and singing with her in the living room. I would lean her one way, and then the other, then twirl her around. Then all the other kids had to have their turn. It's so fun to play with my little munchkins! I'm glad they like me so much. :)
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
No Chemo Today
I was supposed to go in for chemo today, but I got sick on Monday. I caught the little one's stomach bug. Luckily the on-call Doctor for the Oncology office told me I could take Immodium and Phasyme. (Phazyme is an over the counter that helps with gas. It worked really well, I totally recommend it.)
Anyways, so Tuesday I woke up feeling better tummy-wise, but completely exhausted. So I called my mom, and luckily she was able to come up and help with the kids, so I could take a nice long, semi-delusional nap (another one of those where I could have sworn I was more awake doing things or talking to people, crazy!). Anyways, the Doctors do not like you to come in for chemo when you are sick, so they rescheduled me for next Tuesday.
I am bummed about changing the schedule. I am glad I will be a-okay for Thanksgiving though.
Happy Holidays!
Anyways, so Tuesday I woke up feeling better tummy-wise, but completely exhausted. So I called my mom, and luckily she was able to come up and help with the kids, so I could take a nice long, semi-delusional nap (another one of those where I could have sworn I was more awake doing things or talking to people, crazy!). Anyways, the Doctors do not like you to come in for chemo when you are sick, so they rescheduled me for next Tuesday.
I am bummed about changing the schedule. I am glad I will be a-okay for Thanksgiving though.
Happy Holidays!
Monday, November 16, 2009
My hair, or lack thereof
Starting about two weeks after my first chemo treatment, my hair started to thin. Now I have alot of hair (thank you dad!), so at first it wasn't a big deal, just slightly more to toss after combing. I was losing a bit more each day, but nothing to be concerned about. And it felt different. Most of the time when you pull a hair, it hurts, right. But more often, hairs I would yank from my head experimentally wouldn't hurt at all to pull, and there was little resistance.
After the second chemo treatment, it started to thin more, and my hair follicles hurt. Like when you wear your hair in a ponytail all day, and then let it down, or comb it in a different direction than usual. But this was all the time. So I started wearing a hat to catch the stray hairs and to not have to bother with combing my hair or running my fingers through my hair (which is a common habit of mine).
My hair starting thinning even more that week. I would run my fingers through the ends sticking out the bottom of my hat, and come away with what used to be a comb full. And it got so itchy! I don’t know if the skin was dry, or if loose hair ends were making me itchy, but there it was. I wore a hairnet at night so I wouldn’t leave hair all over the pillow. The nurses had recommended not washing my hair as often, so it wouldn’t fall out so quickly. I washed it a week after, because it just felt gross. I lost a ton in the shower, and more to combing. Now, like I said, I had a lot of hair, so now it looked okay still, just like I had thin hair. But, well, even with a hat, hair was landing everywhere. Pretty gross!
On Friday morning I had gone into the American Cancer Society room in my hospital because when I had talked to them earlier, they mentioned that they have free wigs and hats that I could come choose from. A lot of the hats had been donated by the local school district cafeteria workers. I wish I could thank them personally. They had such a lovely variety of flannel and knitted hats that it was hard to resist taking one of each kind! (I did make myself take only three.) And then we walked into the wig room. She had quite a collection of wigs on stands, and then big totes just full of them. I sat down, and as she was asking me what color I wanted, I saw this beautiful wig. The main color was dark brown, like my natural color, with red and gold highlights, like I love to have in my hair. And it was a longer wig, long enough to almost brush my shoulders, cut in long layers. This wig had just been donated the day before, and I could hardly believe my luck!!! She gave me the box it came in, some wig shampoo and conditioner, and a wig brush. She said she’d give me a card for a local wig shop that would help me “fluff” it, but the little kids got a little excited as we were walking out, and we forgot, but I can get it next time I go in, I’m sure.
By Friday afternoon my hair was driving me so crazy I sat down on the edge of the tub, leaned over the garbage can and just started pulling out what would come. Little Boy walked by (I had left the door open) and asked what I was doing. I told him I was pulling my hair out and asked if he wanted to help. So he did. It was pretty cute.
Now I want to interject in here, that I had six weeks to come to terms with the fact that I would lose my hair. I knew it was going to happen, and I was okay with it. I liked my hair, but it wasn’t so utterly lovely that I couldn’t live without it. I mean, I have a good passel of gray hairs, it tends to be frizzy, and before I cut it, it would be in a no-hassle ponytail most days.
Oh, and Big Girl was a cheerleader for me to cut it! When chemo started we told the kids that I would lose my hair, that I would probably shave it before it all fell out. So Big Girl would ask me almost every day when daddy was going to shave my head. I think she asked more about that then how soon Little Girl would get here when I was pregnant!
So Saturday morning I told WonderfulHubby today was the day. While the kids sat in the living room watching Saturday morning cartoons, we set up in the dining area, in plain sight, and he started shaving away. I still had a lot more hair attached then I imagined, so it took quite a while. I few passes with the shortest attachment on electric razor I use to cut the boy’s hair. Then just the bare blade on the electric razor. Then shaving cream and one of WonderfulHubby’s new razors (the kind with 5 or 6 blades), about three times. WonderfulHubby was so good and careful, he was so nervous about knicking my head. Little Girl was in her highchair eating breakfast and watched the whole thing. She just smiled, and thought it was funny.
All the kids had to run over and rub my head when he was done. It feels pretty cool, kinda sandpapery. Of course, that day a big storm blew in and snowed! But that’s what hats are for, right?
I’ve worn my wig a few times. At church on Sunday, people had a hard time believing it was a wig. Hehehehe, I may keep this wig forever. The highlights on the wig will never get gray streaks or grow out.
Well, and that is about that.
After the second chemo treatment, it started to thin more, and my hair follicles hurt. Like when you wear your hair in a ponytail all day, and then let it down, or comb it in a different direction than usual. But this was all the time. So I started wearing a hat to catch the stray hairs and to not have to bother with combing my hair or running my fingers through my hair (which is a common habit of mine).
My hair starting thinning even more that week. I would run my fingers through the ends sticking out the bottom of my hat, and come away with what used to be a comb full. And it got so itchy! I don’t know if the skin was dry, or if loose hair ends were making me itchy, but there it was. I wore a hairnet at night so I wouldn’t leave hair all over the pillow. The nurses had recommended not washing my hair as often, so it wouldn’t fall out so quickly. I washed it a week after, because it just felt gross. I lost a ton in the shower, and more to combing. Now, like I said, I had a lot of hair, so now it looked okay still, just like I had thin hair. But, well, even with a hat, hair was landing everywhere. Pretty gross!
On Friday morning I had gone into the American Cancer Society room in my hospital because when I had talked to them earlier, they mentioned that they have free wigs and hats that I could come choose from. A lot of the hats had been donated by the local school district cafeteria workers. I wish I could thank them personally. They had such a lovely variety of flannel and knitted hats that it was hard to resist taking one of each kind! (I did make myself take only three.) And then we walked into the wig room. She had quite a collection of wigs on stands, and then big totes just full of them. I sat down, and as she was asking me what color I wanted, I saw this beautiful wig. The main color was dark brown, like my natural color, with red and gold highlights, like I love to have in my hair. And it was a longer wig, long enough to almost brush my shoulders, cut in long layers. This wig had just been donated the day before, and I could hardly believe my luck!!! She gave me the box it came in, some wig shampoo and conditioner, and a wig brush. She said she’d give me a card for a local wig shop that would help me “fluff” it, but the little kids got a little excited as we were walking out, and we forgot, but I can get it next time I go in, I’m sure.
By Friday afternoon my hair was driving me so crazy I sat down on the edge of the tub, leaned over the garbage can and just started pulling out what would come. Little Boy walked by (I had left the door open) and asked what I was doing. I told him I was pulling my hair out and asked if he wanted to help. So he did. It was pretty cute.
Now I want to interject in here, that I had six weeks to come to terms with the fact that I would lose my hair. I knew it was going to happen, and I was okay with it. I liked my hair, but it wasn’t so utterly lovely that I couldn’t live without it. I mean, I have a good passel of gray hairs, it tends to be frizzy, and before I cut it, it would be in a no-hassle ponytail most days.
Oh, and Big Girl was a cheerleader for me to cut it! When chemo started we told the kids that I would lose my hair, that I would probably shave it before it all fell out. So Big Girl would ask me almost every day when daddy was going to shave my head. I think she asked more about that then how soon Little Girl would get here when I was pregnant!
So Saturday morning I told WonderfulHubby today was the day. While the kids sat in the living room watching Saturday morning cartoons, we set up in the dining area, in plain sight, and he started shaving away. I still had a lot more hair attached then I imagined, so it took quite a while. I few passes with the shortest attachment on electric razor I use to cut the boy’s hair. Then just the bare blade on the electric razor. Then shaving cream and one of WonderfulHubby’s new razors (the kind with 5 or 6 blades), about three times. WonderfulHubby was so good and careful, he was so nervous about knicking my head. Little Girl was in her highchair eating breakfast and watched the whole thing. She just smiled, and thought it was funny.
All the kids had to run over and rub my head when he was done. It feels pretty cool, kinda sandpapery. Of course, that day a big storm blew in and snowed! But that’s what hats are for, right?
I’ve worn my wig a few times. At church on Sunday, people had a hard time believing it was a wig. Hehehehe, I may keep this wig forever. The highlights on the wig will never get gray streaks or grow out.
Well, and that is about that.
Kids!
On Sunday afternoon we were all doing our thing, hanging out around the house, playing computer and watcing tv and whatnot. I realized I hadn't seen Youngest Girl for a while. I had Oldest Boy look for her downstairs, and WonderfulHubby helped me look for her upstairs. We found her. In the doorway between our bedroom and our bathroom.
With an open box of tampons.
And about 75% of them spread out around her.
Some were out of the plastic wrapping, some were pulled completely apart. She had one each hand, one to her mouth to rip it open when we found her. She looked up at us like "What? These things are FUN to pull apart, and smell good too!"
Thank goodness it was a generic brand I found on clearance, so only about $1 down the drain.
Or donated to "Craft Supplies"
However you want to look at it. :)
With an open box of tampons.
And about 75% of them spread out around her.
Some were out of the plastic wrapping, some were pulled completely apart. She had one each hand, one to her mouth to rip it open when we found her. She looked up at us like "What? These things are FUN to pull apart, and smell good too!"
Thank goodness it was a generic brand I found on clearance, so only about $1 down the drain.
Or donated to "Craft Supplies"
However you want to look at it. :)
Monday, November 9, 2009
Immune Booster shot
On Thursday when I went in for chemo, they checked and my white blood cell count was a little low. Not too low so as to skip chemo, but low enough I would have to get the immune boosted shot again. But they have a different kind that lasts for 14 days, so I wouldn’t have to go in everyday, and that is the one the doctor wanted me to get. So I went in on Friday for that. I just ran up there with Little Boy and Little Girl after the Big Kids got off to school. The Chemo hadn’t hit me yet, so I felt fine. There was a couple in the waiting room that had two therapy dogs with them. Little Boy and Little Girl were ecstatic to see them, and enjoyed petting the gentle dogs. These ones were the Norwegian Water Dogs, so they were big-ish, and had black curly hair. After the dogs left, the kids spent their time moving the magazine table in the waiting room. If they worked together, they could move it just fine. And they remembered where the treat bucket was to get their suckers after my shot. Super cute kiddos.
Feeling a little better
Well, the nausea is mostly gone, and I am just left with the fatigue and funny side effects from chemo. So the nerve endings in my fingers are more sensitive now, so when I do things like run my hand under hot water, I get pin pricks of pain from the heat. I was making Cream of Wheat for the kids for breakfast this morning, and the steam was really bothering me. But Oldest Boy came and stirred it for me, so that worked out just fine. My taste buds are also on the frits too. Since the chemo kicked in, I haven’t really been able to taste salt. In fact, a cup of water WonderfulHubby brought to me tasted so horribly sweet. So I have been avoiding sweets this time around, in order to avoid sugar overload and more nausea.
And the fatigue has been extreme this time around. I just had a nap on Friday and felt okay most of the day, but on Saturday I slept most of the day, and had conversations with WonderfulHubby that only happened in my head. That led to some confusion, but it wasn’t too bad.
Saturday was also Oldest Boy’s Ninth Birthday. My mom, Grammie, left a present for him to open when she was here to help on Friday. He could hardly wait until I was awake enough to sit and watch him open it. It was clothes for church and a Bionicle. He was so cute, and happy to get all of them, I guess he had noticed he needed new church clothes too. Hehehe We didn’t do much else to celebrate his birthday on Saturday, what with me being so out of commission and all, but the weather was so nice the kids played outside a lot.
On Sunday I got up to help get everyone off to church. Then I took a little nap until it was time for me to get ready. I just came to the last part of the meeting because this week all the kids were putting on a program. Singing songs and talking about families in the gospel. Both of my big kids had a speaking part along with singing in a smaller group. My local family came up for the program, and then back to my house. They made dinner (Dad had brought up a super yummy roast, and I had thawed out some roll dough I had made a while ago), while I rested. More family from WonderfulHubby’s side came over and we ate dinner, opened presents and let the kids play for a while. I mostly just sat. Everyone had fun, and Oldest Boy really enjoyed all the presents he got. KE (my older brother’s wife) made a cake for him all decorated like a scene from the game Plants vs. Zombies. She and AR (my bro) did a GREAT job. Very talented, she is. I didn’t eat any because I didn’t want my sugar only taste buds to rebel, but everyone else really liked it. And I appreciate the time she put into it. I had planned on making him a cake, but accepted when she offered and now know I never would have had the energy to make anything.
Well, that should sum up pretty well right now. Today I am feeling much better, very little nausea, and the fatigue is under control. Little Girl just didn’t want to sleep all snuggled with mommy this morning, so oh, well, life goes on. :)
And the fatigue has been extreme this time around. I just had a nap on Friday and felt okay most of the day, but on Saturday I slept most of the day, and had conversations with WonderfulHubby that only happened in my head. That led to some confusion, but it wasn’t too bad.
Saturday was also Oldest Boy’s Ninth Birthday. My mom, Grammie, left a present for him to open when she was here to help on Friday. He could hardly wait until I was awake enough to sit and watch him open it. It was clothes for church and a Bionicle. He was so cute, and happy to get all of them, I guess he had noticed he needed new church clothes too. Hehehe We didn’t do much else to celebrate his birthday on Saturday, what with me being so out of commission and all, but the weather was so nice the kids played outside a lot.
On Sunday I got up to help get everyone off to church. Then I took a little nap until it was time for me to get ready. I just came to the last part of the meeting because this week all the kids were putting on a program. Singing songs and talking about families in the gospel. Both of my big kids had a speaking part along with singing in a smaller group. My local family came up for the program, and then back to my house. They made dinner (Dad had brought up a super yummy roast, and I had thawed out some roll dough I had made a while ago), while I rested. More family from WonderfulHubby’s side came over and we ate dinner, opened presents and let the kids play for a while. I mostly just sat. Everyone had fun, and Oldest Boy really enjoyed all the presents he got. KE (my older brother’s wife) made a cake for him all decorated like a scene from the game Plants vs. Zombies. She and AR (my bro) did a GREAT job. Very talented, she is. I didn’t eat any because I didn’t want my sugar only taste buds to rebel, but everyone else really liked it. And I appreciate the time she put into it. I had planned on making him a cake, but accepted when she offered and now know I never would have had the energy to make anything.
Well, that should sum up pretty well right now. Today I am feeling much better, very little nausea, and the fatigue is under control. Little Girl just didn’t want to sleep all snuggled with mommy this morning, so oh, well, life goes on. :)
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Rough night
Well, last night was rough with kids waking up and me actually getting sick. But we made it through. I slept most of the morning, dreaming I set up playdates for all the kids, and being surprised when I woke up and walked out to have them still here at home! WonderfulHubby was a real trooper with the kids this morning, getting them to get all their chores done. I am still pretty tired, and a little dazed, but have been eating carefully today.
Just a short note today. :)
Just a short note today. :)
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