Telling people I have Breast Cancer sucks. I hate to tell them. Seriously, I don't feel sick. If it weren't for this big ole lump (I have 1 firm breast right now, haven't had that in years, lol) and some occasional aching and the discharge (ew), I wouldn't know I had anything wrong with me.
Mainly I don’t want to tell them because it makes them sad. When I told one friend this she said “A, it’s because you are such a people pleaser!” Not that I am upset at their reactions. I mean if someone else told me they had breast cancer I would react the same way. Somehow, because it is me, I am better able to hold it together. Just ask, “what is the next step to take?” And say “Let’s do it!” I actually feel I would be more worked up about this if someone else had it. And after talking to the doctors about how we are going to beat this, and all the great friends who know someone who has beaten this or some other type of cancer (or my mom’s super friend who has beaten back THREE types of cancer at different times and still leads a great life), I know I can do this. I DON’T look forward to chemo, or major surgery, or this borg-like porta cath. But I know I can make it!
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You amaze me! I don't know anyone else who could step outside their own grief and worry enough to worry about how their friends and family are handling it. You are really the most positive person I've ever met.
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